Ode to Photoshop Eva

Oh Eva, Eva. Your beauty is as wondrous as the computer it was created on. As flawless as the graphic designer who toiled to make it just so. Some people look at you and see perfection, but Tony looks at you and sees dark circles and malnutrition.

I recently catalogued my magazine collection and I have over 200 back issues of Vogue, W, and Vanity Fair. (For those of you who don't know me, that's only the tip of the crazy meter. They are all in perfect or near-perfect condition.) I love the pictures, clothes, articles, everything. However, I am well aware of the power of those images to fuck a girl up, especially if she starts thinking those images are real. Well, they're not. Even with the best makeup artists, photographers, lighting, etc, Eva Longoria's never going to look like Eva Longoria without Photoshop. So, girls. Don't feel bad about yourselves when you can make those getting paid a shitload of money to feel bad about themselves. Hello! They can afford the therapy. And guys, always make sure you know what a girl looks like in the morning. And love her all the more.

Addendum: My friend's mom told me that guys also better look at a girl's childhood pictures because you never know who's had what done! LOL. Mama knows best!!

Photo Source: iWANEX Studio (there's more where that came from) via Dlisted

The REAL Reason Eva's with Tony

"Ball don't lie."

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker: Trophy Love

She won her man.


He won his trophy...

Both of them.

Random Game 5 Celebrities

1. Michael Moore

What is Michael Moore doing there? Is there a more unlikely fan, aside from Alanis Morissette, Bryan Adams, and whoever that girl was before Game 4. I never thought I'd say this, but where's Mariah's crazy ass?

2. Dwight Howard

He's HOT!

3. Eva Longoria

Wouldn't it have been great if after Rip missed the last shot and it was dead silent in the Palace, all of a sudden you heard this lone crazy cheer and it was Eva?

Game 4: Eva but No Tony

Eva: "Look, Frenchie, I said I wanted three rings!"

Major props to Eva Longoria for showing up in Detroit like she's Jack Nicholson. However, if she could only get her boyfriend to do the same.

Meanwhile, I love how the so-called "absolute nastiest fans" in the league (according to Stan Van Gundy) had nothing but love for Eva...


...while their hometown boy, Kid Rock, faced some hecklers.

Eva Longoria and Trophy at Cannes

How much you want to bet that David Stern got a hard on when he saw this picture?? No, no, not because of Eva...but because she's wearing NBA-licensed apparel while promoting the game overseas. She's like the short, slutty, Mexican Yao Ming.

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker @ SAG Awards

Eva made a cameo at the Spurs-Lakers game Thursday night and Tony returned the favor last night at the SAG Awards. So if the Spurs are the Patriots of the NBA, does that make Tony Parker its Tom Brady? I wonder what Pop has to say about all this.