Ode to Photoshop Eva

Oh Eva, Eva. Your beauty is as wondrous as the computer it was created on. As flawless as the graphic designer who toiled to make it just so. Some people look at you and see perfection, but Tony looks at you and sees dark circles and malnutrition.

I recently catalogued my magazine collection and I have over 200 back issues of Vogue, W, and Vanity Fair. (For those of you who don't know me, that's only the tip of the crazy meter. They are all in perfect or near-perfect condition.) I love the pictures, clothes, articles, everything. However, I am well aware of the power of those images to fuck a girl up, especially if she starts thinking those images are real. Well, they're not. Even with the best makeup artists, photographers, lighting, etc, Eva Longoria's never going to look like Eva Longoria without Photoshop. So, girls. Don't feel bad about yourselves when you can make those getting paid a shitload of money to feel bad about themselves. Hello! They can afford the therapy. And guys, always make sure you know what a girl looks like in the morning. And love her all the more.

Addendum: My friend's mom told me that guys also better look at a girl's childhood pictures because you never know who's had what done! LOL. Mama knows best!!

Photo Source: iWANEX Studio (there's more where that came from) via Dlisted

Meanwhile, On the Other Side of the World...

Manu was doing some schmoozing of his own. Here he is presenting a basketball to Argentine President Néstor Carlos Kirchner.

Manu along with compatriots Carlos Delfino and Andres Nocioni and the omnipresent Dikembe Mutombo were down in Buenos Aires to promote Basketball Without Borders. Manu even got Pop to show up and yell at the kids.

But seriously, between hobnobbing with presidents and kissing babies and housewives, would you be surprised if Manu and/or Tony ended up being the mayor of San Antonio, Paris, or Bahia Blanca?

They both have an aptitude for gladhandling and diplomacy unheard of in Texas. And with Robert Horry signing a new 3-year deal with the Spurs, their team may have just gotten started. If they keep winning, who knows what else the future will hold for these two.

And if that's not enough for you, they've also managed to bring back the flag as national symbol and clothing accessory, all wrapped up in one sacrilegious package.

MJ, eat your heart out.

French: Benched For a Third Time

Tony Parker, on the right, didn't mince words after London was awarded the 2012 games. He said, "We did everything we had to do...It proves that the committee is Anglo-Saxon. They prefer the English." BBC Sport quoted him as saying he felt "extremely gutted."

The vote was 54-50. That's gotta hurt. And though it's meaningless now, as someone who's worked on enough losing political campaigns, I can appreciate the artistry of the Paris 2012 campaign.

I hope London steps up now that they've won. Because a sign in the yard just ain't gonna cut it.

Actually, THIS is the Real Reason

Who gets more women than rappers or athletes? How about a French rapper/athlete. Move over, TI. TP9 showed off his skills at the Spurs' Championship Rally Saturday night, one of those things you have to see to believe. I don't know what was funnier - Tony rapping or Brent Barry dancing. Brent wasn't quite the ghost of Mark Madsen, but you get the idea. If you missed it, or like me you only caught the highlights because NBA TV decided to show a WNBA game instead of airing the rally live, you can check out the video here.

Seriously, how are they not going to show the Champion NBA rally live?? I'm mad, mad as hell because I set my VCR to tape it at its designated time, but they didn't show it until 3 hours later so I missed the whole thing. For real, how can they honestly expect people to be home on Saturday night AND wait through a WNBA game?? Bloody bastards. Anyway, back to the rap superstar.

He even had Beno dancing! If Rasho and Sean Marks got up, this video needs to be immediately immortalized in the White Boy Hall of Fame.

The REAL Reason Eva's with Tony

"Ball don't lie."

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker: Trophy Love

She won her man.


He won his trophy...

Both of them.

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker @ SAG Awards

Eva made a cameo at the Spurs-Lakers game Thursday night and Tony returned the favor last night at the SAG Awards. So if the Spurs are the Patriots of the NBA, does that make Tony Parker its Tom Brady? I wonder what Pop has to say about all this.