And This Is Different From Groupie Love How?

I really don't need to add yet another magazine to my reading list, but when I see one with Will Demps on the cover...well really, what's a girl to do. This is the premiere issue of SET Magazine, the vanity project brainchild of Mrs. Samari Rolle. According to the website:

"Our mission is to provide an intimate look at professional athletes lives as they endure hardships, overcome failures and celebrate their success in their perspective professions. We get up close to take an in-depth look at otherwise classified information."

I didn't realize the failures and successes of athletes in their respective professions were classified. I'm glad SET came along to unclassify that info - ie, Will Demps being the Texans' secret weapon despite being released by them. Amazing.

Anyway, one of the NBA's "nice guys" - Antawn Jamison - is profiled in the mag along with his wife, Ione. Jamison has a squeaky clean reputation, has been married to the same woman for 5 years, and has kids born well after the first 9 months of marriage. On paper, this seems like a model marriage, especially by NBA standards, so I was curious to read what SET unclassified. I should've just stopped at the pictures of Will.

SET: What's the last romantic thing you did for each other?

Ione: Antawn is the best gift giver ever. Just Monday, he upgraded my diamond earrings [from two to three carats]. He went to Vegas, and I didn't even know he'd taken them with him.

SET: How does she spoil you?

Antawn: She gives me little gifts all the time. I really wanted this Louis Vuitton backpack and I couldn't find it anywhere, and she went and got it made for me.

Seriously, is this what romance boils down to - a bigger pair of diamond earrings and a Louis Vuitton backpack? Regardless of the state of the economy, what the fuck? Groupies trade sex for material goods. Shouldn't marriage/love/romance go beyond groupie love? What is so romantic about buying shit when one spouse's yearly salary - $16,360,090 for 2007-2008 - makes buying shit limitless? Before you say, "But that just shows they don't spend their money on all that all the time so it is romantic when they do," let me stop you, future much-younger-second-or-third-wife-of-some-rich-man. Let me also discount the notion that I think money is bad or diamond earrings are bad. But if your romance is driven by the same accumulation of shit that drives groupie love, how is your love any different?

Photo/Article Source: SET Magazine

Kardashians Prefer NFL Players to NBA Players. In a Related Study, Findings Show NFL Players More at Risk for STDs than NBA Players.

Khloe Kardashian recently broke up with the T-wolves' Rashad McCants and told People Magazine,

"It's easier to date a football player for sure. Football players have one game a week, and they practice every day, but they're all at home. In basketball, they're on the road all the time. Relationships are so hard in general, even living next door to each other, but they have 82 games a year in their season, and I work so much; it's hard to spend time together. It just wasn't as fun as it should have been."

Now here's the kicker:

"I normally never talk about relationships. But since he was kind of public, my fans were angry that I wasn't really saying anything."

Fans? Yes, I'm sure the Chyna Fan Club rejects were postively seething that they didn't know about your love life. Good luck in the NFL hunt.

Who's Bigger: Shaq or Hannah Montana?

It makes me sad that some chick named Hannah Montana can sell out American Airlines Arena faster than The Diesel and D-Wade. While we're at it, who the hell are the Jonas Brothers? The things parents do for their kids. (PS - Thanks, Mom, for all the NKOTB stuff and you were right.)

Look at Shaq Daddy in his Elmo shirt and hat. He's hands-down the NBA player I'd most want as a dad. And he's doing the good dad thing by playing nicey-nice with the ex for the sake of the kids. Paging Jason Kidd. While we're on the subject of NBA dads, I still can't believe Dwight "Let's Put a Cross on the Jersey" Howard is a dad. Unless you're willing to go to A.C. Green lengths, quit proselytizing, Dwight. And with a cheerleader. How cliche.

Source: TMZ

Ode to Photoshop Eva

Oh Eva, Eva. Your beauty is as wondrous as the computer it was created on. As flawless as the graphic designer who toiled to make it just so. Some people look at you and see perfection, but Tony looks at you and sees dark circles and malnutrition.

I recently catalogued my magazine collection and I have over 200 back issues of Vogue, W, and Vanity Fair. (For those of you who don't know me, that's only the tip of the crazy meter. They are all in perfect or near-perfect condition.) I love the pictures, clothes, articles, everything. However, I am well aware of the power of those images to fuck a girl up, especially if she starts thinking those images are real. Well, they're not. Even with the best makeup artists, photographers, lighting, etc, Eva Longoria's never going to look like Eva Longoria without Photoshop. So, girls. Don't feel bad about yourselves when you can make those getting paid a shitload of money to feel bad about themselves. Hello! They can afford the therapy. And guys, always make sure you know what a girl looks like in the morning. And love her all the more.

Addendum: My friend's mom told me that guys also better look at a girl's childhood pictures because you never know who's had what done! LOL. Mama knows best!!

Photo Source: iWANEX Studio (there's more where that came from) via Dlisted

Kobe Clarifies Questions About Wife

Yes, she can read. At a 5th grade level no less!

Further dispelling rumors that he and Vanessa are headed for divorce, Kobe told Jimmy Kimmel their fights are actually about rape Harry Potter. She reads the books, he watches the movies, she then tries to spoil the movie. Would that I could be a fly on the wall during those discussions.

While Kobe was busy showing that he's a big nerd who names his dog Dumbledore (Mamba my ass! More like Dumbledork), Kimmel showed his complete lack of soccer knowledge. When Kobe said his favorite athlete was Ronaldinho, Kimmel first responded "who?" before asking if he was retired. Seriously, even Posh knows who Ronaldinho is. Then again, it might just have been the way Kobe said it. He tried the whole I-can-speak-a-foreign-language accent. Whatever, Madonna. You can watch it here. Meanwhile, Kimmel-ites can watch the one and only Ronaldinho here.

Art Imitating Life

Rick Fox is getting ugly, as in Ugly Betty, a great show I discovered a whole 2 months ago. Next, I'll hear that Pluto is no longer a planet. Can you tell I have my finger on the pulse? I didn't realize that when I moved to France, I'd be moving back in time. Just kidding. Kind of. :)

I actually had one of the best experiences of my life living in France and I'd highly encourage it to anyone with even a modicum of interest. I never understood players who thought playing overseas was a death sentence. Yeah, it's not the NBA and you don't make NBA money, but you can really make a nice life for yourself. Look at Mike D'Antoni, Joe Bryant, and Tony Parker, Sr. I'm loathe to agree with anything Stephon Marbury says, but I totally see his point about moving to Italy after his NBA days are over...except for the whole David Beckham analogy. Who you kidding, Steph?

Anyway, how did I get on this topic? What was I talking about? Oh yeah, Rick Fox. His ex-WAG, Ms. Wilhelmina Slater herself, took pity and got him a role as her bodyguard for the upcoming season. It's nice to know that all pro-athlete marriages don't end with the scorched earth policy preferred by the likes of Joumana Kidd and Jean Strahan.

Source
Photo Source: Wire Image

Happy Birthday, Gisele! Love, Bridget

With all the hoopla over England's original WAG moving to the States, I started thinking about who is the ultimate WAG. Some candidates that came to mind were:

• Eva "I'm not Bridezilla" Longoria
• Vanessa "I forgive anything for some bling bling" Bryant
• Joumana "I will not only take down my husband but also the entire Nets organization" Kidd
• Jean "I will take EVERYTHING including my husband's masculinity" Strahan
• Jackie (No further explanation necessary) Christie

However, the one that superseded all other contenders in all other sports and raised the bar for future WAGs everywhere is none other than the outwardly wholesome Bridget Moynahan. The Queen Bee, as she will now be known, not only announced she was pregnant by her previously untarnished golden boy ex-boyfriend soon after he started dating the world's richest model, but she also retained her virtuous image and made him look like the bad guy for wanting to date the ultimate male fantasy. But the topper, the ultimate FUCK YOU to both Tom and Gisele...Her baby is due today, Gisele's birthday. You think that might cause a little rift between a couple? Jennifer Aniston is somewhere crying about how Bridget got all the karma in the world.

So let's check the scoreboard here:

• Bridget got the baby she always wanted, fathered by the guy she wanted, and she managed to look like the victim in the process.
• Tom got the supermodel he wanted, but forever shattered his perfect image. Forget his future political aspirations, his current image is what he needs to be thinking about. I'm sure Boston fans would have wholeheartedly forgiven him his baby-mama drama and welcomed him back with open arms, but...BUT...he wore a Yankees cap!!!!!!!! In public!!!!!!!! Yet another point for Bridget as Tom has seemingly lost his mind.
  

All Bridget needs to do is write a hit song about this and she'll be on par with Justin Timberlake on Bill Simmons's Vengeance Scale. So while we ponder Tom's once providential fate - seriously, Tom, what's going on with you?!?!? - we can only lift our glasses to the Queen as she awaits the arrival of her son on Gisele's birthday.

Yao Ming to Marry his Super Tall Girlfriend and Have Super Bionic Babies

In accordance with the dreams of the Chinese government and David Stern, Yao and his girlfriend, Ye Li, are now engaged and set to marry in August. Ye Li is roughly 6'3" to 6'5", depending on whom you ask, and also a basketball player. They've been together for 8 years, but hopefully their genetically engineered progeny will populate the League for years to come. Can't wait til we hear the pitter patter of giant feet.

Congratulations, Yao and Ye!

The REAL Reason Eva's with Tony

"Ball don't lie."

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker: Trophy Love

She won her man.


He won his trophy...

Both of them.

Random Game 5 Celebrities

1. Michael Moore

What is Michael Moore doing there? Is there a more unlikely fan, aside from Alanis Morissette, Bryan Adams, and whoever that girl was before Game 4. I never thought I'd say this, but where's Mariah's crazy ass?

2. Dwight Howard

He's HOT!

3. Eva Longoria

Wouldn't it have been great if after Rip missed the last shot and it was dead silent in the Palace, all of a sudden you heard this lone crazy cheer and it was Eva?

Behind Every Great Man...

Is a woman threatening to withhold food unless he starts playing better.


As reported on by the illustrious Stuart Scott, Mrs. Chanda Wallace told her 6'9", 240-pound husband before Game 3, "'Let your hair down and go out there and play some basketball, or else you can't eat." Proving once and for all that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, Big Ben responded in Game 3 with 15 points, 11 boards, and 5 blocks and in Game 4 with 11 points, 13 boards, 3 blocks and 3 steals.

When he won the Defensive Player of the Year award this year, Ben said, "I want to thank my wife (Chanda) for letting me come home last year after I didn't win it."

Chanda Wallace, you are awesome!
Jackie Christie, this is what not-crazy looks like.

Game 4: Eva but No Tony

Eva: "Look, Frenchie, I said I wanted three rings!"

Major props to Eva Longoria for showing up in Detroit like she's Jack Nicholson. However, if she could only get her boyfriend to do the same.

Meanwhile, I love how the so-called "absolute nastiest fans" in the league (according to Stan Van Gundy) had nothing but love for Eva...


...while their hometown boy, Kid Rock, faced some hecklers.

Commissioner's Pet of the Week: Chauncey Billups and Wife

Not only did Chauncey Billups take away the Eastern Conference crown, he also snatched the "Commissioner's Pet" title from the Golden Boy known as Dwyane Wade. How did Smooth accomplish this seemingly impossible task, you ask? He went to two - TWO - WNBA games and took his wife and daughters as well. He even managed to drag Antonio McDyess to one. Now this may not seem like much, but how many people do you know who've been to one, much less two, WNBA games since that whole experiment started? And, even more impressive to the Commissioner, the Billups family went to both games within 2 weeks of one another. "A truly remarkable feat."

The new "Pet of the Week" will be announced Friday, when Chauncey is sure to be dethroned once David Stern gets the initial ratings from Game 1 vs. the Spurs. Until then though, long live King Bill.

Eva Longoria and Trophy at Cannes

How much you want to bet that David Stern got a hard on when he saw this picture?? No, no, not because of Eva...but because she's wearing NBA-licensed apparel while promoting the game overseas. She's like the short, slutty, Mexican Yao Ming.

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker @ SAG Awards

Eva made a cameo at the Spurs-Lakers game Thursday night and Tony returned the favor last night at the SAG Awards. So if the Spurs are the Patriots of the NBA, does that make Tony Parker its Tom Brady? I wonder what Pop has to say about all this.

Jackie Christie: The Gift that Just Keeps on Giving

Next on VH1: The Doug & Jackie Christie reality show.



It's just too good to be true. I'm sick of seeing Nick and Jessica compete for "World's Dumbest/Dullest Person." Oh but to be a fly on the wall in the asylum known as the Christie household, to see just how they come up with all those hand signals - one flick means "I love you," two flicks mean "You're way hotter than Tyra, I mean that person I've never looked at before" - it's going to be like watching The Osbournes and a bris all in one. I can't wait!



Refer to my previous post on Ms. Thang herself:

http://nbasfinest.blogspot.com/2004/12/jackie-christie-crazier-than-anna.html

Jackie Christie: Crazier than Anna Nicole or Just Misunderstood?

For those of you unfamiliar with Mrs. Jackie Christie, let me fill you in. If you think Ron Artest can generate some bad publicity and controversy, wait til you meet Jackie Christie. I'm sorry but I have to refer to her by her full name lest anyone think she's not married to Doug Christie, Sacramento Kings, in which case she may whup yo' ass! I could probably devote a whole website to her and her crazy-ass/simply misunderstood antics, but that would probably take the rest of my life.

Most people were introduced to JC (I can't keep typing that whole name out) during a preseason Kings-Lakers game in 2002 at the height of their rivalry. During the playoffs in June of that year, the Kings were standing at the door of the Finals, literally right there, and then the 3 in Game 4. Fucking Robert Horry. Instead of going back to Sac up 3-1, the Kings ended up 2-2 and eventually lost the series. Well at the preseason exhibition game in October, Rick Fox and Doug Christie got into it on the floor. Balls were thrown (both literally and figuratively) and both Fox and Christie were kicked out of the game.



Here's the thing, if you look at it from a fight aspect, Doug clearly whupped Rick's ass. Please like it's that hard. If Vanessa Williams could do it... Anyway, instead of going back to his locker room, Fox ran behind the stands toward the Kings' tunnel and put Doug in a headlock. Jackie - the omnipresent figure that she is - jumped up out of her seat and started hitting Rick with her purse. Both benches emptied - actually only Shaq got up for Rick, the entire Kings bench got up for Doug. How surprising Kobe wasn't there. The only time he has people's backs is right before he's about to stab them in it. Anyway, despite the fact that Doug proved himself on the court, the fact that his wife got up and tried to help him...well, that was all the ammo Shaq and sportswriters needed. And thus the legend of Jackie Christie was born.

Since then, everyone's paid attention to the Christies' relationship and started noticing things that were...odd. Doug did (and still does) these hand signals after every shot, rebound, assist, breath, step. They are signals to his wife telling her "he loves her." Now most girls would say "Awww" to that except the fact that JC has alienated every female out there who isn't her own flesh and blood. JC doesn't let any woman - child, adult, single, married - near her husband. Sometimes she'll let a female reporter interview Doug but she better be RIGHT THERE holding his hand, watching like a hawk. Some women who worked for the Kings actually filed a lawsuit against them and the Christies because they claimed they were "wrongfully terminated" because of JC and the fact that she's a crazy ass, jealous bitch. Now I don't know if those were the exact words in the court document, but I'm just summarizing for you. The suit had some merit b/c JC didn't like and thus barred female staffers from the Kings locker room where her hubby might not have his shirt on and you know, girls might just lose control and start throwing themselves at him.

One valid point she has though is that infidelity is as prevalent in bball as the refs are. Even Saint MJ had paternity suits brought against him. Gold-diggers and just straight up skanks prowl the games, the hotels, and the clubs. JC's defense at all times is protecting her marriage and her family. In that sense, really how is she any different from Anna Benson? (Anna Benson is the former stripper/model - aren't they all - who was named by FHM as the Hottest Wife in Baseball. In the article, she said if her husband ever cheated on her, she would sleep with his entire team - the Mets - including players, coaches, groundskeepers, janitors, anyone she could find and she would also sleep with all of his opponents.) Now just think, if Anna Benson would do that, what do you think them hos still trying to land their Kobe would do?

And so the saga of Jackie Christie goes on. I'll write more later but I think you need to digest all this first or else you'll just say I'm making this up; unless of course you've been privy to the hand gestures, the beeline for each other after the buzzer sounds, the weddings they put on every year to celebrate their marriage...I mean it just goes on and on. Oh and if that weren't enough, Ms. Thang HAS HER OWN WEBSITE! When I saw the link, I was like Naw, it's too good to be true. But it's real! See it for yourself and decide, Jackie Christie: Crazy or Misunderstood?

http://www.jackiechristie.com/

PS. The heart logo on her website is also the tattoo that Doug and Jackie have on their hands. Matching tattoos and everything. Seriously, it just goes on and on.