"Change Your Look, Change Your Life"

The little, indie bookstores I usually go to don't carry ESPN the Mag, but I was waiting for someone at Barnes & Noble yesterday and this picture of Dwight Howard caught my eye. The cover story, "Above the Rim, Beyond the Arc" by Ric Bucher, is a really interesting revisit to the controversial-at-the-time NBA dress code and how opinions and behaviors have changed since then.

Beyond just their physical appearance, players have re-examined their lifestyles and perceptions. Bucher writes,

"Times have changed. Players not only have rethought what they wear, they've also rethought what they drive and eat. Gone are the days of a player hopping out of an Escalade with 24-inch spinning rims and tinted windows that rattle from the beat of the speaker box. Now the car is likely to be a dark-colored sedan or SUV with standard equipment...You can also find players circling the team buffet, casually mentioning the egg-white omelet and protein shake their personal chef whipped up for them that morning."

Players have also started thinking broadly and more long-term. Shane Battier says, "Guys want to be players and businessmen. And they understand you have to look the part. They're more sophisticated."

The most interesting part of the article was the key figure cited as, if not integral, definitely influential in effecting this change - and it's not Barack Obama. It's Hova himself, Jay-Z. We know Jay's influenced Lebron directly, but who knew he influenced the entire league indirectly. Bucher writes,

"And when Jay-Z turned in his Yankees cap and white T's for French-cuffed shirts and three-piece suits, tailors with NBA clientele noticed. 'Guys started buying a ton of woven dress shirts to wear with cuff links,' says designer Cary Mitchell. Teams steal defensive schemes; players eye what others are rocking. 'It's a copycat league,' says Mitchell."

Other owners better hope and pray Jay's influence is solely sartorial and won't affect where players want to play, ie Brooklyn. I think it's hilarious though that this designer calls the players out as copycats.

Another benefit to the dress code was that it bridged one divide between the Americans and the Europeans. Some of the Europeans felt mocked for their choice of clothing, which tends toward close-fitting, but now, that's the style 'round the league.

Time was when Warriors center Andris Biedrins thought he was getting dap when someone said, "That suit is tight." But that was "tight" as in "too small," not as in "That looks sharp." No more. Says Hawks center Zaza Pachulia: "Euro style used to be a bad thing. Now guys like it."

If only other conflicts could be so easily defused. Anyway, check out the story. It's really interesting. One other thing - the Blazers provide a personal chef to rookies whose moms aren't accompanying them to Portland. How cool is that!!!!

Together Again

First, Shaq and Kobe reunited at the All Star Game. Then, it was Angelina and Aniston at the Oscars. Now, and with much less drama, Conan and Andy will be back together on NBC! Can Andy still be naked at 11:35pm or will that be Jimmy Fallon's domain now? *Shudder*

A Quote for Sonics Fans

I just finished reading The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, which wasn't quite the old lady book I'd thought it would be...okay, maybe it was a little but I still really enjoyed it. Anyway, there's a line from Shakespeare in the book that I thought fitting for Sonics fans, particularly after the show Kevin Durant put on this weekend. It goes, "The bright day is done, and we are for the dark."

Didn't mean to start your morning off on such a somber note. Here's a video from the hilarious Paul Brogan to properly start the day. I don't know how I didn't see this before. Thanks @PhoenixSunsGirl for all the manic Twittering.

PAUL BROGAN - NBA RAP 2008

Seriously, how could David Stern take the NBA from a city that produces fans like this? Now look what the cat dragged in to Oklahoma City:

They're calling him Rumble the Bison. He can't even make a basket! So sad.

Highlight of Clippers-Suns Game

The best part of the ridiculous 40 point blowout came during halftime when they showed a clip of the Step Brothers spoof Baron Davis and Steve Nash made for Baron BoomDizzle's site, IBeatYou. Look at Steve's moves! Shaq's not the only one with some skills. Two words: Dance off.

Jay, if you don't know who the JabbaWockeeZ are, I'm shaving your head to reflect the old man you've become. I love PTI and Tony Kornheiser, but damn, sometimes the age/generation/technology/pop culture gap is ridiculous. Today he and Dan Le Batard talked about Twitter and Tony went off on the "twitter machine." It's called a computer. And I loved when he finally discovered Amy Winehouse...a year after Rehab blew up. I know ESPN wants to skew young, but forcing people to talk about topics they have absolutely no understanding of - I thought that's what they kept Skip Bayless around for.

The Pistons' Mascot is Cooler than Yours

Hooper's doing it in costume AND heels!
I humble myself before thee.
And those dancers! Hot sex on a platter.

Benny or Gorilla, whatchu got??

He's jealous of this dog, too.

When Mom's Away

Obama is totally jealous of this kid.
Stay strong, Mr. President.

Link via Dlisted's Twitter.

The Aftermath in Seattle

What Clay Bennett wrought.
Sonics fans in Portland for the ex-Sonics return to the Pacific Northwest.
So sad.

Photo Source: AP

Cojones*

Slam has a fantastic article by John Krolik on the rightful heir to Sam Cassell's testicle dance. (The only adjective I can think of to properly describe the dance is 'singular,' but somehow 'singular testicle dance' just sounds wrong...and misleading.) Thus far, only Kobe and Andre Iguodala have been brazen enough to show off their cojones (Andre in front of the one and only Sam I Am). Kobe broke out the dance again tonight after a late basket against the Jazz, but like the last time against the Spurs, Lakers lost. Last time, Roger Mason, Jr. answered back with a testicle dance of his own. This time, Mehmet Okur answered back with what can only be characterized as the Jonas version of Sam's dance. I'm trying to find a clip of it, but the only video of the game on YouTube cuts off before the end.

My vote is for Roger Mason, Jr. Sam had a swagger disproportionate to his position on the NBA totem pole. Roger Mason - 2nd rounder, journeyman - has the same outsized bravado.

Krolik dismisses Manu as a possible heir, saying:

I’m pretty sure Manu thinks the dance means “I have accumulated a lot of change and am unsure what to do with it, so for the moment there is much change in my pockets, which I find unwieldy.”

This can also describe Mehmet's dance. Check out the other potential heirs apparent here.

*Quick note to my very white friend, Jay. Cojones is not pronounced 'co-jones,' which is what I know you were saying in your head. It's Spanish and therefore pronounced 'co-ho-nez.'

Cold Days

Most people take snow days, I've been taking cold days. The temperature literally went from the 80s-90s to the 40s-50s and rainy in a matter of days. I know 40 degrees is nothing to anyone not living in the Southwest, but the sudden drop was so jarring it felt like being thrown into freezing cold water. I'm absolutely useless when it's cold, which explains why I was on academic probation for the first time in my life my first winter in Boston, but my body's more acclimated now so I'm pulling an all-nighter to make up for all the work I haven't been doing. The actual work probably won't take more than a few hours, but I have to schedule in my procrastination, such as this post.

Something that's been bothering me for awhile, which I've voiced before but I feel the need to bring up again is, who the fuck are the Jonas Brothers? And why are they everywhere?! I saw them for a quick second on the VMAs sitting on a makeshift stoop in matching seersucker suits before I had to change the channel. That's understandable though since MTV caters to imbeciles. They've also taken over a wall at Borders. Once again, understandable considering the other wall was devoted to Twilight, ibid imbecile reference. But the cover of Rolling Stone? And now they're going to rape my ears on SNL? Why they haven't been banished to the Teen Beat corner is beyond me. Why are we, non 13-years-olds, being forced to lower ourselves to the Jonas-Hannah Montana level? No wonder the adult literacy level is so low and the LA Times is written at barely an 8th grade level since apparently, that's the mental age we're shooting for. Jesus. (Excuse my caffeine rush. I'm fine now.) Here's Chelsea Handler's take on the Jonas situation:

Brilliant. Don't get me wrong - I'm not against teen idols. I just don't think that I or anyone else in their 20s and up should be forced to follow a group of pre-pubescent boys. Unless they can shoot a ball, of course. You wouldn't show Finding Nemo on SpikeTV, so why are the JoBros (Seriously? Gag me.) on SNL? And don't get me started on Zac Efron hosting. Okay, enough of this. More posts about basketball, I swear!